she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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