My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
