Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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