Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
