doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize