Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the condom got lost in my hair
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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