i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
