I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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