Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
