You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
