Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
