Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
