I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
