He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
