Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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