Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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