Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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