i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
