sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
