no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
