He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
