I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
