you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
