yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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