the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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