are you still at the devil's house?
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
