Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
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