Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
