I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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