If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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