I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
