So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
