he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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