I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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