yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
