Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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