so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just pee around me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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