Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
