it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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