Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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