i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
