The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
