I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
