fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
