tell your sister to shave her snatch
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Less talking, more tequila
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
