Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
