just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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