were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
