This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
