if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
