are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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