The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
