Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
