He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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