The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
