you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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