So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
