My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
