ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
