I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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