my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
