i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
