Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
